A Rant

There is plenty more to come,
I already feel completely numb,
Tolerance of life’s shit
Is breaking bit-by-bit,
I don’t care about important things,
All I want are fancies and flings,
The one thing I care about
Will never be mine, without a doubt,
She is genuine, where I am false,
I stumble, where she can waltz,
Her heart is pure, where mine is poisoned,
I am dry, where she is moistened,
I’m going in relentless circles,
Bypassing imaginary miracles,
Dreaming of having what I can’t,
Living on a downward slant,
Looking for the stepping stones
That are supposed to prove I’m not alone,
All while knowing in my mind,
That none of these things I’ll ever find…

He’s a liar, all hopers are liars…
I want them ended in purging fires…
My own escape will not be swift…
It will happen following a sleepy drift…

Ridiculously Dramatic

She’s thinks she’s tragically romantic…
Truth is, she’s just ridiculously dramatic…

Suffering, to her, is a contest,
One in which she must come out best,
Everyone else’s problems are instantly dismissed
Once she begins to complain or gossip,
Yes, she has problems, don’t we all,
To her though, everyone else has someone to answer their call,
She seems convinced the world revolves around her,
For such conceit, there is no cure…

She has a knack for winding people up,
It always ends with everyone telling her to keep it shut,
One over reaction she had on her birthday
Ended up forcing all her friends away,
Now she only has her boyfriend and her mam,
Because everyone else doesn’t give a damn,
She needs to realise everyone has problems
And that she can’t be ignorant when others are in the doldrums…

She’s thinks she’s tragically romantic…
Truth is, she’s just ridiculously dramatic…

They Will Come

I look for a place where I can be me,
Searching for somewhere I can fit in,
Looking for a place where I can be free,
Trying to make my life begin,
I hope for a place I can call home,
Somewhere I won’t be an outsider,
I seek a place where I won’t be alone,
A place that includes the beauty of her…

I know it’s here…
I know it’s somewhere…
I feel it near…
I know she’ll be there…

I don’t care where it is,
A beach, a forest, a slum,
I just want to find it,
And find my freedom,
Maybe it exists only in my dreams,
Either way, it’s paradise,
Nothing is ever as it seems,
If she’s there, I won’t have to think twice…

I know it’s real…
I’m one of its kind…
On its surface, I will kneel…
On its surface, true love I’ll find…

I can see it in my mind’s eye,
The hallowed grounds of inner self,
There for hours I will lie,
As many as ten, eleven or twelve,
Still I search for its gates,
Hoping to find eternal peace,
It will all come down to fate,
No matter what, my efforts won’t cease…

I’ll find it someday,
Along with true love,
I’ll scope every shore and bay,
Hoping my efforts will be enough…

Hoping they will lead me to love and freedom…
They will come one day, they will come…

Unlocked

She has unlocked the door
To my heart’s core,
She has my invaded my mind
Once so hard to get inside,
She has brought feeling back
To where hatred once attacked,
She has broken through my mental barrier,
Over any distance, I want to carry her…

Things confused are now clear,
She has washed away the doubts and fears,
A dream I had was of her,
The things that occurred in it I want for sure,
The whole thing makes me realise
That strong feelings come and go with the times,
I know now how fickle love is,
That being said, I just want her kiss…

Wait for the Change

There she is,
Standing in front of me,
So close, yet so far,
The invisible wall of the past
Prevents any approach
More forward than a simple hello…

When with her,
My smile becomes genuine
For the first time since before Christmas,
My heart is finally beating again,
Old worries disappear
Whenever she comes near…

Yet I can’t follow my feelings up,
Because the past remains the past,
He, despite electing to return
To the bickering he despised for so long,
Remains obsessively jealous,
I know he constantly watches her…

Waiting for a sign of her moving on,
If she were to move onto me,
He would feel betrayed like never before,
He has no right to feel this way,
Not after the way he callously moved on from her,
But he is such a switchy so-and-so…

One minute he wants his so called ‘love’…
Next minute he wants fling-after-fling…
Now comes the wait for the change…