Jazz Club

At the bar,
The jazz belting,
Staring at another empty glass,
Barmaid asks me,
The doubt ringing,
Staring into my bloodshot eyes,
One more please,
The request hanging,
Unwillingly, she pulls the pint,
Head in hands,
The thoughts compounding,
Drinking away my sorrows,
Barmaid’s cold hands,
The nerves showing,
Shaking voice asks me to stop,
Look of indignation,
The anger bubbling,
Screaming is just held in check,
A polite response,
The insincerity wreaking,
Cracking voice gives me away,
A decisive action,
The drink spilling,
Pouring it away in front of me,
Mind’s breaking point,
The frustration boiling,
Exploding on this innocent person,
Barmaid breaks down,
The tears falling,
Running out of the lounge,
A shocked silence,
The disgust spreading,
Infecting the bystanders watching,
Hands grab me,
The sensation of flying,
Throwing me out the door…

The silence still ringing…
As my night is no more…

I Took Him to the Grave

I took him to the grave,
Just to see the smile falter,
Just to see the unassuming shyness fade away,
Just to see the tears fall,
Not out of cruelty,
Not out of sadism,
Not out of mockery…

But out of a need to make him see…
That he’s not alone in missing the big man…

I took him to the grave,
To make a pivotal point,
To make him understand,
To make him realise,
That he’s got people to turn to,
That he’s not isolated in all this,
That he’s not alone…

That letting it all become pent up inside…
Is doing more harm than the good he thinks he’s doing…

I took him to the grave,
In an effort to help him move on,
In an effort to prevent more damage being done,
In an effort to forget the unchangeable,
As standing still is futile in the end,
As standing still will only kill us too,
As standing still is drowning in past sorrows…

As standing still, wallowing in pain unbearable…
Only allows another life to go to waste…

And where’s the point in that?
I took him to the grave to make him understand that…

I've Come

I've come to repent,
Yet this religion is too commercial,
I've come to repent,
Yet what we're told is selective,
I've come to repent,
Yet we're only told what we want to hear,
I've come to repent,
Yet this won't save me...

Blindness won’t save us…
Ignorance won’t save us…
Praying won’t save us…
If we only pray in vain…

I’ve come to repent,
Yet the confession given is false,
I’ve come to repent,
Yet I’ll leave just as sinful,
I’ve come to repent,
Yet this institution is a propaganda machine,
I’ve come to repent,
Yet repenting here is futile…

Blindness won’t save us…
Ignorance won’t save us…
Praying won’t save us…
If we only pray in vain…

I’ve come to repent,
Yet it is you who should be repenting,
I’ve come to repent,
Yet all who repent do so in fear,
I’ve come to repent,
Yet those who repent will end up in hell,
I’ve come to repent,
In search of an answer to all the lies…

Blindness won’t save us…
Ignorance won’t save us…
Praying won’t save us…
If we only pray in vain…

I’ve come to repent…
So let me repent and be saved…
By the false prophecies’ of the false prophets…
We’ll see how true they are come the tribulation…

Let’s see if commercial religion spares me…

It Matters

They all don’t know what I am,
They all believe in the person they see,
They all think the front is everything,
They all miss what lies beneath,
My mind tells me this is good,
My mind tells me to continue the show,
My mind tells me keep on pretending,
My mind tells me they need not know…

It matters that I know…
It matters I’m living a lie…
It matters everyone’s been deceived…
It matters I can’t look man in the eye…

They all love the person they think I am,
They all want me to believe in myself,
They all voice their wonders aloud,
They all want me to dig inside myself,
My mind tells me this is wonderful,
My mind tells me to play along,
My mind tells me they allow themselves to be fooled,
My mind tells me to do what I know is wrong…

It matters that I know…
It matters I’m living a lie…
It matters everyone’s been deceived…
It matters I can’t look man in the eye…

Yet I have the power to turn it all around…
Yet I don’t have the power to cease my sins…
Yet I see in my sights the future I could have…
Yet I see it vanish as the end begins…

It matters that I know…
It matters I’m living a lie…
It matters everyone’s been deceived…
It matters I can’t look man in the eye…

Jar

The signs are there now for all to see,
You say it’s time for a change,
An escape from your confined reality
And a chance to extend your range…

The weather outside matches me inside,
The greyness of the sky is like my mood,
While the raging of the rain
Is like the anger that makes me brood,
Sleep is now an impossible dream,
Much like the idea of retrieving you again,
I can’t close my eyes while knowing
Our love has disappeared down the drain,
The pictures of you smiling haunt me always,
Shimmering in your winged dress,
All I want is your face in my hands
So it I can kiss and caress,
As it is my days and nights are spent alone,
Wondering why things are the way they are,
Months ago it was ended now
Yet I still feel you in my internal jar,
All bottled up and kept from the world,
Mine to keep forever and ever,
Yet you squirmed away through the seal
And now I see our ties begin to sever,
I thought you and I were permanently entwined,
Destined to live and die, side-by-side,
Now I know that this was foolish to believe
As when the time came away you shied...

The signs are there now for all to see,
You say it’s time for a change,
An escape from your confined reality
And a chance to extend your range…