One Hundred and Ninety Words

One hundred and ninety words are used to tell me what I’ve feared for months,
One hundred and ninety words are used to tell me what one word could easily have told,
One hundred and ninety words confirm I’ve been chasing a shadow all this time,
One hundred and ninety words destroy any lingering hope living in the dreams of a deserted heart…

Months of mind games draw to a close,
The dust settles and the outcome emerges,
Dreams and fantasy play on my mind
As I hope for the fairytale ending;
The first forty-eight words appear on the screen,
Telling me what I’ve long since known,
Her time in solitude has reaped many rewards
While hidden complications prevent any commitments;
The next ninety-three words continue the story,
Telling of the laziness that now occupies her soul,
She has no interest in pursuing the matter,
Insisting the equation is too complex to even consider;
The last forty-nine words lavish praise on me,
Saying my ability and personality are not in question,
While also apologising for her reluctance to take a dive,
‘You just haven’t found the right person yet’;
In all, one hundred and ninety words were typed,
Authenticating that my grasp was not only too weak
But also that my target never existed,
Her feelings died a long time ago;
Shadows, out of reach, shrink and vanish,
Hope, fading away, flickers and dies,
Dreams, hazy and fuzzy, disappear,
Reality, harsh and cruel, returns;
One hundred and ninety words bring me back to the start again,
But not without one last fond gaze toward the past
That occupied the present for such a long time,
Memories aren’t reality, a lesson that has taken a long time to sink in…

One hundred and ninety words were used to tell me what I’ve feared for months,
One hundred and ninety words were used to tell me what one word could easily have told,
One hundred and ninety words confirmed I’d been chasing a shadow all this time,
One hundred and ninety words destroyed any lingering hope living in the dreams of a deserted heart…

One hundred and ninety words give me the closure I needed so long ago…
Now it’s time to start letting go.