I Need to Thank You

I need to thank you,
Freezing shoulder makes me see,
Recalling my poor handling,
The mistakes it led to and the rolling eyes,
Can’t be everybody’s friend,
Especially not after a three week silence,
Can’t be perfect all the time,
Especially not at the age of nineteen,
An insult-cum-joke becomes an insult again,
Only with direct aim, at my big heart,
Not spiteful enough to keep quiet,
Yet spiteful enough to be minimalist,
And it hurts more than speeding bullets,
Knowing how I failed others’ perceptions,
Indifferent to the mistake itself for so long,
Uncaring to its effect on you,
But sad at letting everyone down,
Even though they don’t even know,
Ignorance is bliss but I can’t ignore this,
And I need to thank you,
For reinforcing my logic in shutting up shop.