A Broken Promise (To Myself)

Sitting across from me is every feeling in my chest,
So close, on a crowded couch surrounded by people,
And as she laughs in the only five minute gap she has,
My mind drifts to the messages we exchanged not so long ago;
My eyes read the confession while they were shut tight,
Ignoring the sheer impossibility of the current circumstance,
And as I allowed myself to dream of something special once more,
I forgot about the promise I made to myself;
Since resuming hostilities with the institution and its heartless sarcasm,
Our paths have crossed only fleetingly with your time not your own,
And as I ask you to come out with me again and again,
I find myself crashing to the ground harder every time;
You are buried in work for a paper buried in pretension,
Living your life through it and through the friends you have made through it,
And as I realise the inconvenience my advances must cause,
It becomes clear that my presence in your life is an unnecessary distraction;
And back in the present I see you walk away one more time,
And I see that infectious smile on your face at the thought of the day ahead,
And my feelings for you continue to grow despite the futility of it all,
And I begin to let go of something I should never have snatched at in the first place.