Sort of

A certainty no longer guaranteed turns my head this way and that,
Options not even viable become the main focus of my confusion,
Somehow I have succeeded in pushing away true feelings,
In their stead comes silence and shut doors with taken keys;
Things are never so simple as they seem in the book of love,
With phrases like “sort of” often used as a ‘get out of jail free’ card,
And it is sad how one request can be met with such disdain,
Asked three times in total, the replies cease to come;
There is nothing to bury myself in now,
The realisation of three years wasted takes away all motivation,
All I can do is sit on my hands and wait for two semesters’ end,
Then I can walk away from the pointless things and begin again;
The touch of others close by offers a dangerous temptation,
Desires not reciprocated drag my eyes away from the game,
Which is so much worse to a broken mind and a broken heart,
Well, to a mind and heart that never had an act together in the first place;
And in the end all I really want is a big hug from a close friend,
As at least in her hug I can close my eyes and escape the real world.