Four Days

Revealing your hand

Was your only mistake,

When you flashed that smile

I just had to play;

Once a romantic

Just like you,

Then love unrequited

Changed my view.

Even through text

I could tell you were keen,

Pushing the promise

Of what may have been;

You were just

A midnight taxi away,

So when you called

What else could I say?

I did it to see

What you could do,

I did it to see

If I could truly love you,

I did it with hopes

Of a half-hearted love,

I did it so I knew

It would never be enough.

Cans in your room

With some choice friends,

All of whom knew

Your previous loose ends;

They averted their gaze

While we kissed on the bed,

I felt butterflies in your stomach

But doubts in my head.

We kissed so hard

You made up my nose,

When it bothered me much

I knew we weren’t so close;

I pressed my lips harder

To convince myself no,

A false promise later

And it was time to go.

I did it to see

What you could do,

I did it to see

If I could truly love you,

I did it with hopes

Of a half-hearted love,

I did it so I knew

It would never be enough.

And for four days I thought

Of you an awful lot

Until I finally got shot

Of me within us.

And for four days I thought

Of you an awful lot

Until I suddenly stopped

My indecisiveness.

Then I thought:

“Us without love would never be enough,”

So I text:

“Tonight I’m too busy with other stuff.”

I did it to see

What you could do,

I did it to see

If I could truly love you,

I did it with hopes

Of a half-hearted love,

I did it so I knew

It would never be enough.