Maastricht

The town is so vibrant,
The sun shines gloriously overhead,
It gives the place its shimmer,
During the day, reflections of the city above
Can be seen clearly on the canal's surface,
It's like a mirror that enforces beauty,
Old monuments and new innovations
Are combined to create something
So startling unique,
It takes one's breath away...

True serenity is hard to come by,
Maastricht is one of the rare places it exists,
Even listening to the noisy early morning traffic
Delivers a stranger inner joy
That is similar to the chirping birds in the trees,
For a city, it is so green,
My preferred colour of choice,
There are trees, plants and flowers everywhere,
This is a place I'd love to live forever,
This place is my mind's Utopia...

Lust and Lies

That girl in the red glasses,
The one with the pretty face
And the subtle voice,
She’s well out of my league,
There’s no bravery on my part,
She’ll be the last thing I write about
In this pocket notebook of mine,
If only the feelings I’m trying to write about
Actually existed,
I wouldn’t feel like I’m lying,
All I feel is lust, as per usual,
Feelings I was capable of bearing before
Don’t exist anymore,
My heart seems like it’s broken,
I’ve no idea how to fix it,
I’ll just have to keep looking
Until someone inspires it to feel again…

I’ll have to keep waiting for that day…
Until it comes…
I’ll continue to live in lust and lies…

It Never Existed

She pulled my tie toward her,
My head spun ‘round,
Our eyes met, I thought this was it,
Our lips touched, she pulled away,
Rejection…

I didn’t know what to do,
My confidence had shattered,
My face turned red, I left the room,
I stood alone, cleaning others mess,
Depression…

Time went by in a blur,
I was confused and humiliated,
She came outside, wondering what was wrong,
I apologised, she said it wasn’t necessary,
Correction…

She said not to feel bad,
I said it was hard not to,
She dragged me to a corner, wrapped her arms ‘round my neck,
I told her not to pity me, she just started kissing me,
Elation?

I wasn’t sure whether to smile or not,
It seemed to be an act of pity,
Rejection one moment, acceptance the next,
It came from nowhere, confidence is still broken,
Realisation…

It never existed…

Something can’t break if it never existed…
Time can’t heal what never existed…
So this humiliation I feel now…
Will never be healed…
Her need to pity me…
Will never be satisfied…

I will always be a sheep…
A person who follows other people…
Who attempts to emulate other people…
But then never ever achieves what other people achieve…
I can’t make something of myself…
I can’t get a person by myself…

I can’t do anything by myself…
Because of the confidence that never existed…

I Stand Still

They’ve both moved on,
The past is the past,
I’m happy for them, I am,
But now I have a sense
That everything is going on without me…

I’m flailing in confusion,
I don’t know what I want,
I’m free to do what I like,
But what I would like to do
Is something that I’m just not sure of…

Life continues to move at a pace too fast for me,
With every passing event it moves quicker,
The world keeps spinning,
Blissfully unaware of my vexation,
One person is always insignificant in the grander scheme of things…

I just wish my heart would beat like it used to,
I just wish it would feel like it used to,
I just wish it would love like it used to,
Then I would know I haven’t changed for the worst,
I would know I could still be me…

As it stands, while old lovers live out their lives…
I stand still, wondering why I am changing…

Go Forth

Everything you think,
Everything you feel,
Everything you make,
Everything you learn
Is unimportant to everyone else,
But remains important to you…

Someone hasn’t the right to force you one way or another,
Someone hasn’t the right to abuse your thought process,
Someone hasn’t the right to destroy your world,
Someone hasn’t the right to take away your beliefs,
As these things are what make you the person you are,
Without them, you would be nothing…

A shadow…

Without them, you would be here nor there,
Without them, you would be aimless,
Without them, you would be invisible,
Without them, you may as well be dead,
A ghost haunting those around you,
Who have the ideas you wouldn’t have…

Read what you want,
Listen to what you wish,
Learn what you can,
Teach those who need teaching,
As life is all about give and take,
You take from and give to everyone around you…

So go forth…