The Walk of Shame

Rain, rain, rain,
Lashing down relentlessly,
As we play our game of 69s,
Yet it doesn't stop us,
Or slow our momentum,
As we smash goal-after-goal,
Into the back of the net.

A ball flies into the box,
For number 68,
I throw myself toward it,
A diving header,
Glorious in its execution,
Puts the ball in the back of the net.

Another ball's launched in,
I see it,
And see nothing but glory,
I throw myself at it once more,
Looking for the fabled 69,
I connect perfectly,
But I lack accuracy,
And it goes a mile wide...

NO!

I am now guarding the goal,
Hoping and hoping,
That it won't be me,
Who concedes the dreaded 69,
And pays the penalty,
By facing the long and infamous walk,
The walk of shame...

The ball comes in yet again,
And up jumps the fox,
Heading the ball goalward,
His aim was true,
My fate was sealed,
As even when I dived despairingly,
And got fingertips onto the ball,
I knew it was in...

I was so close,
But not close enough,
The ball had spun into the bottom corner,
And anguish and disappointment wash over me,
As I now face the forfeit to end all forfeits,
I face the walk of shame.

All around the pitch I must walk,
The loneliest walk anyone could ever face,
In the duration of their lives,
So with my head down, and while soaking wet,
I am left alone to reflect,
On how I ended up with this punishment,
Wondering how the hell I lost!

All of this of course,
While the others sit in the centre,
Laughing and jeering,
Yet also applauding,
Applauding because they feel I was wronged,
Believing I didn't deserve to walk the walk,
But that, I suppose, is the beauty of the game...

Even if it does undermine the walk of shame.

War

I decide to join the army,
And am immediately trained in their philosophy,
I am taught to feel no pain,
Even when blood comes down like rain,
All forms of emotion are beaten out of me,
Until I wander around aimlessly, like a zombie,
So when the day comes and I have to fight,
I won't drop my gun and flee into the night.

After years of honing and training,
I find myself suddenly wishing,
To be involved in conflict, to be involved fighting,
To be involved in war, shooting and killing,
Then the commander recognises that,
There are no qualities in which I lack,
So he finally decides to ship me out,
Ship me out to war torn Iraq.

I have got my wish, and feel a tinge of joy,
Being out here, uncovering secret ploys,
I fight for my country, I fight with pride,
I fight with honour, and never try to hide,
I feel no pain, even when comrades die,
I see old friends in agony on the ground,
Screaming in pain, before ceasing to make a sound.

But my emotions begin to return to me,
As I unexpectedly lose all sight,
Of what it is I'm fighting for,
But too late it seems,
As I get shot and fall to the floor.
As I lie on the ground, dying,
I begin to start wondering...

What exactly is the point of war?

The Void

Once upon a time,
A feeling of excited nervousness,
Would wash over me,
When I'd see you approaching,
But in recent times,
That feeling has gradually disappeared,
And it's almost as if,
You're just another person...

No, no, no,
It wasn't supposed to be this way,
You were supposed to be THE ONE,
My soul mate,
My life's partner,
But why then has my love of you
Suddenly diminished
Into nothing, as if it never existed?

I can't comprehend what happened,
At how my heart could just suddenly
Change it's mind,
And practically stop beating,
Leaving me faced with something unusual,
A massive, empty void,
A void that once contained my love for you,
A void that I thought...

Would never be empty.

The Price of Friendship

The teachers look at me angrily,
And they ask me,
How can you afford to be outside,
Spending time with your friends,
When you have your Leaving Cert,
In a matter of weeks?

Well, I reply,
Knowledge is indeed a valuable thing,
And it does come at a price,
But spending time with my friends?
That is priceless,
Which is why I can afford to do it.

The Knife

The knife,
A symbol of many things,
Of betrayal, of lack of trust,
Of relief, of respite,
Of pain, of never-ending pain.

It's a cliché,
You've stabbed me in the back,
It's an escape,
Used to get away from life,
It causes heartbreaking pain,
Pain for the person using it,
And for the person's family.

The knife,
It's silver, sharp and dangerous,
All it does is cause hurt,
Everything it's associated with,
Causes someone unbearable pain...

The knife,
The ultimate source of suffering,
The ultimate cause of misery.

The Final Judgement

Everything we do in this life,
Will be judged in the afterlife,
The actions we choose to take now,
Shall be accounted for in the sky.
The actions I have chosen to take,
Are a mixture of good and bad,
Unfortunately for me,
The bad far outweighs the good.
In recent times I have tried to change,
But I know myself that it's all fake,
The evil person inside of me lives on still,
A clever opportunist,
He appears from nowhere time-to-time,
And makes me hate myself.
I can't make him shoulder all the blame though,
I am at fault for allowing him to control my actions,
And for allowing my weakness to get the better of me.
The actions I have taken in my life,
Mean that, when the time comes to hand in the final CV,
It will be looked on with disgust,
Before being tossed into the fires of hell,
Along with myself.

The Fifth Province

Pressure mounting,
The fool with the tools,
Is constantly putting me down,
It's times like this,
That I like to go to my sanctuary,
Known to me as,
The Fifth Province.

Not quite Leinster,
Not quite Munster,
Not quite Connacht,
And not quite Ulster,
But a perfect piece of each,
Moulded together to create,
The Fifth Province.

It's so peaceful there,
No pressure at all,
As there's no one there,
To put the pressure on,
Just me and my thoughts,
Alone together,
In the Fifth Province.

Not quite Leinster,
Not quite Munster,
Not quite Connacht,
And not quite Ulster,
But a perfect piece of each,
Moulded together to create,
The Fifth Province.

Sometimes I escape there,
When I'm angry or sad,
And sit alone in silent solitude,
To gather together my thoughts,
So I can channel them onto a page,
Ignorance is bliss,
In the Fifth Province.

Not quite Leinster,
Not quite Munster,
Not quite Connacht,
And not quite Ulster,
But a perfect piece of each,
Moulded together to create,
The Fifth Province.

I'd show it to you if I could,
But it's visible only to me,
You have to discover it yourself,
Although most never do,
As only a rare few,
Experience the reconciling and the healing,
Provided by the Fifth Province...

Not quite Leinster,
Not quite Munster,
Not quite Connacht,
And not quite Ulster,
But a perfect piece of each,
Moulded together to create,
The Fifth Province.

The End of an Era

The graduation is finished,
Secondary school is over,
The class have all hit the bottle,
Celebrating the end of their sentence,
But I am not happy,
That my term is over,
As I now fear
That the security blanket school provided
Has been ripped from my grasp
All too prematurely.
My age suggests I'm ready to leave,
But mentally I don't feel ready at all,
I'll miss the routine that school gave to me,
I'll miss the help that the teachers offered,
I'll miss the students of all the other years,
But, most of all,
I'll miss the friendships that have been formed.
Even though they seem all too rare,
The ones that have been made,
Are very special to me,
And I am really upset now,
As I know I won't see the majority of my class,
Ever again,
Although I know that this sadness,
Is only shared by a rare few...

For me,
It is the end of an era,
But now I am wondering,
Could it be the beginning of a new one?

The Black Hole

The black hole,
Sucking and pulling,
Trying to drag me down,
Into vast and endless darkness,
Into oblivion.
Nothing is going right,
And everything I try,
To make things work,
Just makes the hole bigger,
And makes it more likely,
That I should fall into it,
And drown in a giant black wave,
Of my own sorrows.

Teardrop

Oh teardrop,
You won't stop,
Your happiness,
Is also your sadness,
You're beautiful,
As well as pitiful,
The reason you're there,
Is because someone near,
Has passed away,
Taking light from the day,
Bringing darkness,
To your host's existence,
But you accentuate her elegance,
Even though she's in deep disturbance,
You manage to keep grace,
On her pain stricken face...

Oh teardrop,
You won't stop,
You are the essence of beauty,
Yet you exist because of tragedy.

Taking the Chance

I wish I could tell you everything,
So I could try and make you mine,
But will it really mean anything,
Is it worth putting our friendship on the line?

Things have changed since I first met you,
My feelings have grown and blossomed,
I wonder if your feelings have changed too,
Or if they remain unchanged, down there, at the bottom.

I really want you to notice me,
To see how quick my heart beats when I see you,
I really want you to be with me,
To be the one who turns and smiles, while saying "I do".

Now I need the courage to ask you out,
To find out how you truly feel,
Yet in my mind is a flicker of doubt,
Causing my stomach to turn, as if I was on a Ferris Wheel.

Part of me knows your feelings already,
It knows that we are friends and nothing more,
Yet, with you, I want to take it more than steady,
Putting our friendship at risk forevermore.

I take a deep breath and ask the question,
Your eyes meet mine, you wear a blank, blank, expression,
I have caused an uncomfortable situation,
One that causes me despairing depression.

You shake your head and apologise,
Staying friends is all you want to be,
You wipe the tears away from my eyes,
While saying there are plenty more fish in the sea...

My heart is broken, there are no more fish like you,
Hard to believe, as, once, you were only a mere acquaintance,
But now I'll never find another I want more to say "I do",
Because you are the absolute essence of elegance.

Silence

What is a friend?
Please, explain?
You can't?
I'll tell you about my friend so,
The one person that can't possibly betray me,
His name is Silence,
And the reason he can't betray me is
Because he can't talk,
How ironic,
Because, if he could talk,
I reckon he would betray me,
Since I don't exactly treat him well,
Just like the rest of my friends,
I regret that very much.

Brown Eyes

Those big brown eyes stare into my blue ones,
Twinkling and glistening,
Joy and delight are what I see,
Reflected back at me,
Like a form of overwhelming happiness.

I could lose myself in those big brown eyes,
And allow myself to become entwined amongst that joy,
As it seems to me,
That the dancing light in your eyes,
Has been caused by the sight of my blue ones.

A long time it has been,
Since our paths last crossed,
But I am so happy that they have once more,
As I get tremendous pleasure,
From gazing into those big brown eyes...

While knowing that you gaze into my blue ones,
With equal pleasure and happiness.

(at the time if writing - which was around June 2007, if memory serves - this seemed like a really nice poem to give to somebody who would never actually receive it, and the funny thing is, as I realised soon after, they didn't even have brown eyes).

Personality Puzzle

Conniving, sneaky, clever, cute,
Choose any word here,
And it would describe you in a nutshell,
Times have changed,
Clearly so have you,
In the worst possible way.

You are no longer a single entity,
You are now three or four different entities,
Each completely different to each other,
Yet all with the same characteristics,
They are all extremely cute,
While also being extremely ignorant.

You act differently around them,
Then you do around us,
You act differently around the opposite sex,
Then you do around your fellow man,
And it's obvious when you talk to women,
You only have one thing on your mind.

It is quite clear what has happened,
Your personality has developed a new skill,
It is now like an ever-changing puzzle,
Pieces move around to suit your current situation,
And because they are constantly shifting,
You don't have one set personality.

You have three or four,
All controlled by the pieces of the puzzle,
Which hinge on the people that you are with.

Penny

Allow me to tell you about a friend of mine,
Her name is Penny,
I always tell her how I feel,
Since she listens to me.
Through her,
I can express my emotions,
And then my emotions,
Become her emotions,
My anger,
Becomes her anger,
My joy,
Becomes her joy,
My sadness,
Becomes her sadness.
Once I tell her how I'm feeling,
I feel much better,
As my emotions are no longer bottled up,
No longer trapped inside of me,
Waiting to be unleashed on someone,
Like a ticking-time bomb.

Learn to Let Go

When a loved one passes away,
A lot of tears are shed,
A lot of the same things are said,
Things along the lines of,
You will never be forgotten,
You will always live on,
You will forever be in my heart.
People say these things in sincerity,
But for them to get on with their lives,
They have to forget,
They have to learn to let go,
Because, if they don't,
The loss of their loved one,
Will consume their mind,
Will destroy their soul,
Leading to their own physical downfall.
Everyone has to learn to let go,
Or else it will take over their life,
Leading to their own demise,
Resulting in more tears being shed,
And in more hearts being bled.

Hits

"Life's not about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep going." - Rocky Balboa

Truer words have never been spoken,
But I have started to doubt myself,
Doubting how many more times I can get hit,
Before I receive the knockout blow.

It feels like my heart has been stamped on,
And smashed into smithereens,
By people who don't even realise they've done it,
And aren't even capable of doing it.

Yet I hear stories of other peoples troubles,
And realise that I don't know REAL pain,
While doubting if I've ever even taken a real hit,
Like those received by my friends.

I know that I merely exaggerate my feelings,
Believing them to be gut-wrenching,
When the fact of the matter is,
I have no right to even THINK that.

The supposed blows I've taken,
Are merely slaps that could've been delivered by an infant,
Whereas, the hits others I know have received,
Could have proved fatal...

Only for the strength and courage that they possess,
Strength and courage that I admire,
As well as envy,
As I would love to have the strength and courage...

To stand up and take the hits my friends don't deserve to take.

Heart of Fire

Flames dancing,
Embers smouldering,
Smoke rising,
Ash falling,
Warmth spreading,
However I am dreading,
The day that this fire burns out,
As this fire is my heart,
And if it does burn out,
It means my love of you,
And everything about you,
Will be extinguished,
Never to be rekindled.

Guilt

A hollow, empty feeling washes over me,
I feel so horribly guilty,
I practically dragged you out,
I badly wished to see you,
But you had an awful time,
Out in the freezing cold,
As you were surrounded by idiots,
Ignorant to those around them,
To the feelings they possess...

I'm sorry for the horrendous weather,
I'm sorry for the stupidity of my friends,
I'm sorry for the heartlessness of men,
I'm sorry for every bad thing that's ever happened to you,
Even if I couldn't prevent it,
Or be faulted for it,
As you don't deserve to be hurt,
You deserve to have everything go right for you,
Because you are the nicest person I know...

And I just wish I had it in me,
To give you blissful eternity.

From a Glimmer to Nothing Again

The first time I laid my eyes on you,
I thought I had died and gone to heaven,
And any hope I harboured of being with you,
Were either confined to my over active imagination,
Or to my most wonderful of dreams about you.
But the years have now rolled by
Since that faithful September day,
And with them, my dreams have suddenly become a possibility,
Yet, not even a huge one,
Just a small glimmer of hope,
But that is more than I could ever have wished for
All those years ago,
As a small chance of being with you,
Is all I've ever wanted.
Yet I find this irritating for two reasons,
One being that now I have a glimmer of hope,
I now want a full on guarantee
Before taking the plunge and asking you to go out with me,
While the second is I lack the courage necessary,
To act on the glimmer of hope that has been presented to me,
And while that glimmer slowly fizzles into nothing again,
You will be happy with someone who had the courage
To take the plunge and take your hand,
A hand that I long to make my own.