Diamonds & Gems

Those lights in your eyes,
Could brighten any dark sky,
They light the way,
Come what may,
Dark passages and caves,
Illuminate under your rays...

Those diamonds and gems...
People claim sunrise upon seeing them...

When matched with that smile,
You can be spotted from a million miles,
They shine so bright,
You never leave my sight,
From no one, can you ever hide,
So bright are those glorious lights...

Those diamonds and gems...
Wishes are made upon seeing them...

Those lights will shine forever,
They are too bright to ever say never,
They are like an everlasting fire,
Burning brightly, blinding liars,
Seeing them is like a dream,
Certainties suddenly aren't what they seem...

Those diamonds and gems...
Tears flow upon seeing them...

They shine like headlights in cars,
Maybe brighter, bright as the stars,
Smiles are raised wherever they go,
To places of misfortune, they give hope,
All frowns are turned upside down,
Those eyes are the jewels in life's crown...

Those diamonds and gems...
Hearts glow upon seeing them...

(whenever I read this back I'm convinced I was re-reading Emerald at the time of writing it 'cause it wreaks of Emerald wannabe, even though Diamonds & Gems is probably better in the sense that it has more fluidity).

Win...

Belief...
Courses through me like never before.

Desire...
Burns in my chest like it's never been away.

Confidence...
Is the highest I have ever known it.

Everything is there,
There's only one thing to do now...

Win.

Ups and Downs

The ups and downs of my heart are very frequent,
But the breakneck speed at which my heart rose this time,
And the breakneck speed at which it was brought crashing back down again,
Astounds even me who expects these ups and downs to be painful...

We chatted the night away on the fifth night,
My heart got carried away with itself and soared into the night sky,
Then on the sixth night you were kissing the lips of another,
My heart crashed back down as if it had been shot...

I know how easily I become attached to people,
I know that this will result in heartbreak most of the time,
But the speed of this most recent up and down,
Makes me wonder if I should bother at all...

Makes me wonder if someone I like will ever like me back...

Unforgivable

I always throw away something valuable,
That is something to which I'm always culpable,
I always hurt the people I love,
My apologies are never enough,
Which is why I am not apologising here,
I am just wishing joy on you, my dear,
I am not asking you for forgiveness,
I am just wishing you the world's happiness,
My stupidity never ceases to amaze me,
That's why I don't expect you to forgive me,
But I will say one thing,
The times we spent together will always mean something,
I will cherish those moments for eternity,
Even if you rightly banish them from your own memory,
But I would like to think you would spare a thought,
For the boy you once knew, when he had a heart...

Unbreakable Bond

Our friendship has come a long way,
We can talk to each other about anything,
Those early insecurities around you are gone,
The shyness I once had around you is no more...

We stay up late at night,
Chatting and laughing about good times,
Or comforting and supporting each other,
During those rare bad times...

I would walk to ends of the earth,
Just to ensure this bond never breaks,
I would gladly suffer for the rest of my life,
If it meant you being happy for the rest of yours...

You are the one person I can trust completely,
The one person I can always talk to,
The one person who will always be there for me,
The one person I would easily trust with my own life...

Our friendship has come a long way,
Now an unbreakable bond exists between us,
Nothing shall ever break that bond,
Nothing in life, nothing in death...

And nothing in between...

Tired

I'm tired of having sand kicked in my face,
I'm tired of being the butt of all the jokes,
I'm tired of the constant rejection,
I'm tired of trying to be nice to people,
Only for it to be thrown straight back at me...

I'm tired of the laughter,
I'm tired of the meaningless compliments,
I'm tired of the false smiles,
I'm tired of the hidden feelings,
That are only exposed when my eyes are closed...

I'm tired of trying to do what's right,
When those around me mock me,
I'm tired of trying to help others,
When others won't help me in times of need,
I'm tired of everything...

And everyone is tired of me...
It's over...
My company won't be forced on them anymore...
Time to confine myself to my mind...
Time to realise what I thought was real...

Was actually all a barrel of lies...

The Search

The search is on,
The search for those lost feelings,
That I once had for you...

The search is on for those feelings,
That I thought would stay with me,
Until the end of my days...

But are now buried deep inside of me,
Beneath all those broken, red shards,
Beneath of what's left of my heart...

Those red shards are all that's left,
From all those failed attempts,
To find someone who felt the same as I did...

The search is on,
To find those feelings of my first love,
To allow me to go back to the beginning...

And live, once again, in blissful ignorance,
In the world of youth and innocence,
With a heart that is whole...

And not scattered everywhere,
Except where it's meant to be...

Unspoken Words

Not a single word was spoken,
They met up with each other,
Embraced and kissed,
Yet something in the kiss told her,
It could be one of their last...

Their eyes met,
Their gazes held,
It was then she could tell,
His eyes had lost the spark,
They once had upon seeing her...

He opened his mouth to speak,
No words came out,
He couldn't bring himself to say anything,
Yet it was becoming clear he didn't need to,
Tears began to well in her eyes...

She squeezed his hand lovingly,
In an effort to show she still wanted this,
But he pulled it away,
He was too young for this seriousness,
Their eyes met once more...

And in each others' gaze,
They knew their time had ended,
Both their eyes were filled with tears now,
Actions speak louder than words,
And they parted ways...

Without so much as a single word to each other,
Not to be dramatic,
Not to be hurtful,
Not to be spiteful,
And not to be heartless...

But simply because they weren't needed...

The Price of Happiness

Nothing in life comes for free,
Everything in life has a price,
Whether it be a financial one,
Or an emotional one,
Everything comes at a cost...

If you don't take a chance,
On something you think is worth chancing,
You could be left with that feeling,
That feeling everyone hates to feel,
That feeling of regret...

If you do take a chance,
On something you think is worth chancing,
You could end up ruining something,
Something very special to you,
That leaves you with a feeling of irreversible sadness...

It's hard to decide what is worth chancing,
It's hard to decide what is worth the cost,
But you never know until you take the chance,
Because one day the price you pay,
Could end up being worth every penny...

And you'll be forever happy for paying it...

The Beginning

This is where it all started,
Back on the first day of 'big school',
Not even a full year into my teens,
I see my friend from football,
Waving ecstatically at me,
He stands beside someone,
A young relative of his...

Something overcame me that day,
My mouth went dry,
My heart was beating madly in my chest,
We didn't even exchange pleasantries,
We didn't need to,
Without even meaning to or trying to,
She had already caught me...

And she would hold onto me,
Unknowingly,
For nearly five years,
But now those feelings of love have vanished,
As so much has happened to me since that day,
I have grown up,
But my heart seems to have grown down...

The Magic of Music in Motion

That feeling of the drumbeat in my chest,
That sound of the guitar screeching through the air,
That voice singing lyrics that mean something to a generation...
All this makes me feel inspired and empowered,
That's the magic that music has over us all,
It's influential and galvanizing,
Thought-provoking and heart-lifting,
So much so, that it's worth standing on the soaking wet grass,
On a cold November's evening,
To witness such a wonderful blend of charismatic instrumentals,
And heartfelt melodies,
Only one thing could make this better now...

Yet as I turn to search for her,
I see her in the arms of another,
Kissing and caressing,
It would be like watching music-in-motion,
If it could be me kissing her fair lips,
While caressing her elegant back,
As it is though, I can only stand helplessly by,
Watching this heartbreaking sight,
As slowly but surely,
The magical power of the music fades away,
To be replaced by that old, familiar feeling,
That at this stage, I constantly peer over my shoulder for...

At least I can always feel the magic of music,
Even if I never get to feel its magic in motion...

(written around the time of Bloc Party's Phoenix Park gig, this poem is a perfect example of something that happens to me far too often: an interesting idea executed poorly - gig was class, though).

The Day I Die

On the day I die,
I hope to fly high into the sky,
Wearing the green and white of Celtic on my chest,
Holding my notebook tightly to my breast,
I will have Hoppipola ringing in my ears,
Hopefully stopping the flow of all those tears,
All my friends will be there to say farewell,
As my departure is marked by the knell of the church bell...

This is not my funeral that I am describing...
It is the celebration of my life with all those still living...

Take it Away

My heart should be taken away from me,
Not as a punishment for a bad deed,
But as a reprieve from the cruel games it plays...

My head has been spun around and around,
I've been infatuated,
I've been heartbroken...

I've been there and back again,
Yet still I sit here,
Just as unclear as I was when I first noticed emotion...

Just as lonely as I was when I first noticed emotion,
Just as confused and vexed,
Dazed and perplexed as I was when I first noticed emotion...

Age has brought me no wisdom,
My heart should be taken away from me,
Until I learn how to control it...

Until I learn its clever little game...

Vampire

Through an alley way you chase me down,
Drag me to a place where no one makes a sound,
You bare those crooked white teeth,
I don't need to know what lies beneath,
The blood of past victims sprays from your mouth,
My blood will be yours soon, without a doubt,
You will suck everything from my body,
Until I am just like you, sparing nobody,
You will take my soul away from me,
But maybe then I'll be free,
You will give me a painful portal,
A pathway to being immortal,
I'll become as heartless as you,
Yet maybe that will help me do what I have to do,
You take that first vicious bite,
My screams fade away into the night,
The drawing of my blood feels like fire,
Now I have become a wretched vampire...

And we are free to roam the world forever,
Searching for fresh victims together.

Proud

I am not as strong as he was,
I am not as skilled as he was,
I don't have the passion he had,
I don't have the love he had,
My skills lie elsewhere,
My passions lie elsewhere...

I wonder what he would think of me,
If he was still alive today,
He left before I had fully grown,
Before I had taken on any kind of personality,
I wonder if he would like the way I am today,
I wonder if he would be happy with the way I have turned out...

I will forever wonder...
Would he have been proud of me?

Now is the Time

A sense of doubt creeps up on him,
The future right now looks horribly dim,
He needs help from all of his friends,
To help him through the devastating end,
He needs to swallow his almighty pride,
So he can sit down and try to cry,
He must do what's right for himself,
Even if someone he loves gets put on the shelf,
All of his troubles are compounding,
How he has come this far is astounding,
But grief has an awful habit,
Of creeping up when you least expect it,
And when grief does its creeping,
It always ends in someone weeping,
So now is the time he does his grieving,
Now is the time relationships start breaking,
Now is the time he frees his soul,
Now is the time he can once again feel whole.

No Name

Everything has suddenly collapsed around me,
My life had been the happiest I'd ever known it,
Within hours though,
I'm the lowest I have ever been,
The girl I like and my best friend,
Are both ignoring me blatantly...

It hurts so much,
Like a knife in my chest,
Talking to the girl I like,
Was like trying to draw poison from a wound,
While talking to my best friend,
Well,
No words were even exchanged,
Mine were met with no reply...

I feel isolated from them,
I feel nothing but hatred directed toward me,
I feel dead inside,
All I can hear now is that little voice,
The voice that always crawls out from the depths of my mind,
Just to laugh at me in times of trouble...

The voice constantly mocks me,
He knows I've been tricked again,
You should trust no one, he says,
You will only end up getting hurt...

The more that little voice speaks,
The more I realise I deserve this,
I deserve this horrendous pain coursing through me,
Because I had it too good for too long,
So much so, I forgot my own creed,
That, for all the good times you have,
There's always bad ones waiting for you,
Waiting to drag you back down,
And devour you whole...

Why is life so hard?
Why do I react so badly to things gone wrong?
Am I too weak?
Am I too sensitive to live in this world,
Where people hurt each other ruthlessly, daily?
They say it's survival of the toughest,
I've never been tough,
How can I survive?

It's times like this,
I would turn to my best friend,
But she is ignoring me now,
I've pushed her too far,
My tears mean nothing now,
I can cry all I want,
She won't help me anymore...

This low is too low,
I'm too far down to get back up,
I had it too good for too long,
I wasn't prepared for this overwhelming pain,
Life has beaten me,
Life has won...

It's over...

Doubts and Worries

I'm left on my own,
Stirring in my own uselessness,
Allowing my doubts and worries,
To crawl into my mind like insects...

The longer I'm left alone,
The more my insecurities grow,
Until eventually, I just want to run away,
But there's nowhere to run to...

My old enemy then resurfaces,
Making a mockery of my feelings,
Laughing at my longings,
Knowing they will never be fulfilled...

Sitting here alone,
Completely useless to everyone,
Makes me ask myself,
Can I really do this?

Am I capable of achieving what I've set out to achieve?
Can I ever become brave enough to take a chance?
Will I ever have someone to hold and call my own?
Will I ever have someone who can help me...

Or will I be alone forever?

My Wish

I have but one true wish in life,
I wish to find someone who likes me back,
I wish to find someone that will feel the same as I do,
I wish to find someone I can share my heart with...

I wish to find someone I can caress,
I wish to find someone I can kiss,
I wish to find someone I can treat like royalty,
I wish to find someone that I can love...

I wish to find someone that I can hold and think,
She feels the same about me as I do about her,
As opposed to holding a person I know I can't have,
Holding her while thinking...

...if only...

Again

Again I have been snared,
Again my heart's ever reaching grasp,
Has found someone new to pine for,
Someone with a really pretty face,
A wonderful, heart-lifting smile,
That can move extremely elegantly,
She's like poetry-in-motion...

When ever I see her my spirits soar,
But I see her all to rarely,
She is delicate, charming and amazing,
Looking into her eyes is like star-gazing,
Who knows what's to become of us,
Maybe, just like everyone before, it will come to nothing,
But I'm just happy to have the feelings that I'm feeling right now...

As once again my heart soars because of someone beautiful...