I Deserve This

I dreamt of her last night,
We were in a crowded room,
Her hair was newly washed,
Everyone admired its glean,
None more so than I,
Then I took in all of her features,
Her wonderful hazel green eyes,
Her silky smooth cheeks,
Her glorious smile
That could light up even the darkest of days,
In my dream I was happy,
Happy because I knew she was mine,
Happy because she wanted to be mine,
Then I woke up…

And the realisation hit me,
She isn’t mine anymore,
I let those wonderful features
Slip right through my fingers,
I can no longer cusp her face
In the palms of my hands,
I can no longer tell her
How much I admire her and care for her,
Now not even her smile could light up
The dark shroud I’m surrounded by,
Because she inadvertently made it descend,
The only thing that could be done to lift it
Is never going to happen,
And you know what the saddest thing of all is?

I know I deserve this…