Days and Months

A time spent searching for something,
Days and months wishing it to be true,
Solitude and loneliness, what’s the difference?
Then I found you,
And learned exactly how to differentiate the two…

I had it all for a few weeks,
Something I spent an age looking for
Disappeared too quickly after finding it,
Now I wonder what it was all for,
As I find myself back where I was before…

Now our contact is minimal to void,
Your messages are getting shorter and shorter,
Dismissive replies and the misuse of the ellipsis
Are things I am used to seeing at this quarter,
Getting beyond you is a fight against brick and mortar…

And the time begins to slow down again,
Now that we have reached the end of our path,
A feeling lingers inside that we have something unfinished
But our conversations are split second since the aftermath,
I now know the meaning of ‘hell hath…’

So I try to get on with living life in this world,
While trying to hold something I cannot keep,
My actions since our final words as a couple to each other
Have been the ones of a stalker-like creep,
Too deep I have allowed old feelings to seep…

Even when someone else walks right into my arms
At the behest of no one but her own lustful heart,
I find it impossible to let go of the past,
As I fear blowing our non-existent friendship apart,
Setting me back further than the start…

I’ve qualified the new one as a mere trifle,
Someone to take me away from the brutal honesty
That I know I will have to face again someday,
That I know will slap me in the face when I finally see
That you have completely forgotten about me…