I Try, Yet Only Succeed

I try to forget, yet
Only succeed in remembering more,
I try to write differently, yet
Only succeed in writing the same as before,
I try to move forward, yet
Only succeed in living behind,
I try to foresee, yet
Only succeed in possessing sight that is hind,
I try to listen, yet
Only succeed in hearing our memories,
I try to close, yet
Only succeed in opening past and future realities,
I try to make amends, yet
Only succeed in shutting more doors,
I try to go out again, yet
Only succeed in creating mere chores,
I try to walk tall, yet
Only succeed in hunching,
I try to look up, yet
Only succeed in watching branches crunching,
I try to smile wide, yet
Only succeed in wearing a forced grimace,
I try to hold the tears back, yet
Only succeed in distorting my wretched face,
I try to make you notice, yet
Only succeed in pushing you away,
I try to make time reverse, yet
Only succeed in making you shout “not today!”
I try to find inspiration, yet
Only succeed in narrowing my vision,
I try to form a united front, yet
Only succeed in finding love’s division,
I try to stop this pointless drivel, yet
Only succeed in writing more lines,
I try to cease this self deprecation, yet
Only succeed in making more rhymes,
I try everything except the obvious thing, yet
Only succeed in worsening the worst,
I try the obvious thing, yet
Only succeed in falling at the first,
I try to follow what others do, yet
Only succeed in disappearing at their side,
I try to joke and laugh and all those things, yet
Only succeed in being cruel and snide,
I try to leave behind the charm, yet
Only succeed in gaping and gawking,
I try to distance myself from you, yet
Only succeed in talking and stalking,
I try to end the obsession, yet
Only succeed in increasing it tenfold,
I try to look at another, yet
Only succeed in acknowledging your vice like hold,
I try to avoid what others couldn’t, yet
Only succeed in spiralling into depression,
I try to leave it all behind, yet
Only succeed in writing my confession…