The Train

Heading on a train journey that goes nowhere,
Searching for something more than location,
Looking to find out the most important thing,
Wanting to find out something about themselves…

Always looking in the wrong places,
Constantly looking into others’ eyes,
Hoping for something untold to sink in,
Seeking a divine jolt of realisation…

Millions of miles are clocked up
Before the train reaches its final stop,
Nothing is gained from one journey,
So they go again…

Back and forth on this train they go,
Looking in the least likely places every time,
Before they finally search in the obvious place,
They are trying to find out something about themselves…

So they finally look inside themselves…
And are shocked by what they find…

Souls cluttered with things not let go,
Hearts smashed to pieces by lost love,
Consciences racked with guilt over past sins,
And livers destroyed by grief consumed alcohol…

On the train they remain,
Attempting to reverse the effects of the past,
Hours are spent lying awake,
Wondering how to move on from things so fresh…

Letting go is always the hardest,
Losing someone through love or death,
Either can have a dramatic impact,
They can both destroy a person physically and mentally…

The train moves at such a pace
That things past and present are easily left behind,
But every time the train reaches its final stop,
Everything speeds right back to the present…

Until they get back on the train again…
Giving themselves more time to look inside…

The Blackout

Seconds before, you can feel the anger building inside you,
Layering, rising, pushing you to your limits,
Pushing you towards the brink of oblivion,
Making your face burn blood red,
Making your eyes shake viciously,
Screams reverberate inside your chest as you hold them back…

Then, the blackout…

It lasts moments,
Not even seconds,
It comes and goes in the blink of an eye,
Yet in that brief period of total blackness,
You can hear screams, shouts, and random snippets
Of the carnage your blackout is bringing to those around you…

Then, the reawakening…

Your first few moments are a complete daze,
You have no idea what just happened or where you are,
Then you look at your surroundings,
Slowly you piece everything broken together,
You see what made you angry in the first place,
You see the retribution you have brought to it…

Then, the guilt…
For failing to control the uncontrollable…

Tears of a Dying Ember

Head is filled by my worst fear,
I switch my bedroom light on,
It flickers and dies instantly,
A symbol of something dying in my chest,
A symbol of something dying in my life…

I don’t want it to be over,
I don’t want to walk away,
Yet her cold stare and icy silence
Tell me our flame has frozen over,
It melts and forms a tear…

It rolls down my face…

More and more follow it,
A constant stream runs down my cheeks,
Each one has a tinge of red at its core,
The dying embers of our once blazing fire,
I’m trying to cry the feelings away…

Every time I end up with someone
It ends because of outside complications,
Karma is coming to return the pain I delivered before,
I know it’s deserved and now I brace myself
By crying away something I still hold to be beautiful…

Attempting to numb the pain only doubles it…

Left Alone

When you’re left alone,
Sitting in the dark,
Thoughts and temptations swirling in your mind,
All the faults that are so well hidden
In front of your family and friends,
Become exposed,
Coaxing you into places you didn’t even know existed…

Your head begins to spin,
Everything you know is good and right
Becomes distorted in the blackness of night,
You can’t separate fact from fiction,
You can’t tell right from wrong,
All you know and all you fear,
Become tangled…

Leaving you in the lurch…
With no one to turn to…

You can’t distinguish between birth and death,
You don’t know if this twisted place
Is heaven or hell,
All your weaknesses are laid bare,
Making you feel like you don’t deserve anything you have,
Making you fear that it will be all snatched away,
Leaving you with nothing…

Being left alone to stew
Is a tonic that defeats its purpose,
You just descend and descend,
Paranoia takes over and crushes the last of your hope,
You give up on everything and succumb to your weaknesses and temptations,
You feel that everyone has abandoned you,
So you want to abandon everyone…

The truth is they haven’t abandoned you at all…
You’ve just isolated yourself from people and pain…

Kiss and Tell

Kiss and tell,
If only I could,
Kiss and tell,
If only we could,
Kiss and tell,
If only things were different,
Kiss and tell,
If only barriers weren’t real,
Kiss and tell,
If only it was just you and I,
Kiss and tell,
If only time stood still,
Kiss and tell,
If only the world was with us,
Kiss and tell,
If only everything helped, not hindered,
Kiss and tell,
If only…

If only…