Vampire

Through an alley way you chase me down,
Drag me to a place where no one makes a sound,
You bare those crooked white teeth,
I don't need to know what lies beneath,
The blood of past victims sprays from your mouth,
My blood will be yours soon, without a doubt,
You will suck everything from my body,
Until I am just like you, sparing nobody,
You will take my soul away from me,
But maybe then I'll be free,
You will give me a painful portal,
A pathway to being immortal,
I'll become as heartless as you,
Yet maybe that will help me do what I have to do,
You take that first vicious bite,
My screams fade away into the night,
The drawing of my blood feels like fire,
Now I have become a wretched vampire...

And we are free to roam the world forever,
Searching for fresh victims together.

Goodbye (Version 1)

Everything in life has built up to this moment,
The final push,
The last hurrah,
I look at everything long gone,
Smiling at all the wonderful memories,
I look forward at what is to be,
I see nothing but darkness there,
Not even the unknown,
There is no life at all...

The pen goes to paper,
For what will be the finally time,
And just as I come to the final line,
The ink begins to run out,
A metaphor for the end of my life maybe?
The ink runs out,
Just as the final line is completed,
I am now devoid of ideas,
Devoid of inspiration...

Devoid of a heart...
My life has run its course...

Proud

I am not as strong as he was,
I am not as skilled as he was,
I don't have the passion he had,
I don't have the love he had,
My skills lie elsewhere,
My passions lie elsewhere...

I wonder what he would think of me,
If he was still alive today,
He left before I had fully grown,
Before I had taken on any kind of personality,
I wonder if he would like the way I am today,
I wonder if he would be happy with the way I have turned out...

I will forever wonder...
Would he have been proud of me?

Now is the Time

A sense of doubt creeps up on him,
The future right now looks horribly dim,
He needs help from all of his friends,
To help him through the devastating end,
He needs to swallow his almighty pride,
So he can sit down and try to cry,
He must do what's right for himself,
Even if someone he loves gets put on the shelf,
All of his troubles are compounding,
How he has come this far is astounding,
But grief has an awful habit,
Of creeping up when you least expect it,
And when grief does its creeping,
It always ends in someone weeping,
So now is the time he does his grieving,
Now is the time relationships start breaking,
Now is the time he frees his soul,
Now is the time he can once again feel whole.

No Name

Everything has suddenly collapsed around me,
My life had been the happiest I'd ever known it,
Within hours though,
I'm the lowest I have ever been,
The girl I like and my best friend,
Are both ignoring me blatantly...

It hurts so much,
Like a knife in my chest,
Talking to the girl I like,
Was like trying to draw poison from a wound,
While talking to my best friend,
Well,
No words were even exchanged,
Mine were met with no reply...

I feel isolated from them,
I feel nothing but hatred directed toward me,
I feel dead inside,
All I can hear now is that little voice,
The voice that always crawls out from the depths of my mind,
Just to laugh at me in times of trouble...

The voice constantly mocks me,
He knows I've been tricked again,
You should trust no one, he says,
You will only end up getting hurt...

The more that little voice speaks,
The more I realise I deserve this,
I deserve this horrendous pain coursing through me,
Because I had it too good for too long,
So much so, I forgot my own creed,
That, for all the good times you have,
There's always bad ones waiting for you,
Waiting to drag you back down,
And devour you whole...

Why is life so hard?
Why do I react so badly to things gone wrong?
Am I too weak?
Am I too sensitive to live in this world,
Where people hurt each other ruthlessly, daily?
They say it's survival of the toughest,
I've never been tough,
How can I survive?

It's times like this,
I would turn to my best friend,
But she is ignoring me now,
I've pushed her too far,
My tears mean nothing now,
I can cry all I want,
She won't help me anymore...

This low is too low,
I'm too far down to get back up,
I had it too good for too long,
I wasn't prepared for this overwhelming pain,
Life has beaten me,
Life has won...

It's over...

Why is it?

Why is it,
They always go for the broken one,
Rather than the working one?

Why is it,
They insist on being unhappy with the broken one,
When they could be happy with the working one?

Why is it,
They always feel the need to fix,
Rather than the need to enjoy?

What is it I need to do,
In order to get their attention,
And rid myself of the bitterness that threatens to destroy me?

Should I break myself?

Who Really Cares?

Repetition...
Repetition...
Repetition...

My life seems stuck in an endless loop...
I'm making the same mistakes time and again...
I'm receiving the same rejections time and again...

I constantly give into my own weaknesses...
I'm constantly told the same thing...
And it's causing me to wonder if anyone really cares...

To wonder is my life really worth anything?
If so, why all this repetition?
Maybe I should just throw in the towel...

If I did, no one would notice...
If they notice, they wouldn't care...
They'd just be happy to be rid of me...

To be rid of my repetitious life...
To be rid of my constant whining...
To be rid of my sheer presence...

Who really cares
About the butt of all the jokes?
Not a single soul...

Harsh?
Possibly...
Undeniable?

Ask everyone else...

Doubts and Worries

I'm left on my own,
Stirring in my own uselessness,
Allowing my doubts and worries,
To crawl into my mind like insects...

The longer I'm left alone,
The more my insecurities grow,
Until eventually, I just want to run away,
But there's nowhere to run to...

My old enemy then resurfaces,
Making a mockery of my feelings,
Laughing at my longings,
Knowing they will never be fulfilled...

Sitting here alone,
Completely useless to everyone,
Makes me ask myself,
Can I really do this?

Am I capable of achieving what I've set out to achieve?
Can I ever become brave enough to take a chance?
Will I ever have someone to hold and call my own?
Will I ever have someone who can help me...

Or will I be alone forever?

Waiting and Gathering

I'm sitting and waiting,
Avoiding playing,
Waiting for the game to come to me,
To present me with an opportunity,
That to me seems long over due,
As many others have declined apart from you...

Patience is a virtue hard to learn,
But learned well, presents opportunities hard to spurn,
While I've been told Karma is supposed to be kind,
Right now it's destroying my mind,
And although nothing was ever written in stone,
Your actions have shaken me too the bone...

Now I can see through the light in your eyes,
See through to the pack of lies,
Yet I shall always keep on waiting,
And constantly keep on gathering,
The smashed up pieces of my heart,
Tape them up until my life falls apart...

My Wish

I have but one true wish in life,
I wish to find someone who likes me back,
I wish to find someone that will feel the same as I do,
I wish to find someone I can share my heart with...

I wish to find someone I can caress,
I wish to find someone I can kiss,
I wish to find someone I can treat like royalty,
I wish to find someone that I can love...

I wish to find someone that I can hold and think,
She feels the same about me as I do about her,
As opposed to holding a person I know I can't have,
Holding her while thinking...

...if only...

Again

Again I have been snared,
Again my heart's ever reaching grasp,
Has found someone new to pine for,
Someone with a really pretty face,
A wonderful, heart-lifting smile,
That can move extremely elegantly,
She's like poetry-in-motion...

When ever I see her my spirits soar,
But I see her all to rarely,
She is delicate, charming and amazing,
Looking into her eyes is like star-gazing,
Who knows what's to become of us,
Maybe, just like everyone before, it will come to nothing,
But I'm just happy to have the feelings that I'm feeling right now...

As once again my heart soars because of someone beautiful...

Unanswerable Questions

Is your smile deceiving?
Do your eyes hide cruel intentions?
Do you intend on using me?
What do you really think of me?
Are my friend's thoughts of you true?
How do I truly feel about you?

I know I like you,
I know I want to give you everything,
The moon, the stars and the sun,
But if what my friend says is true,
Then you are just using me heartlessly,
For your own personal gain...

Taking advantage of my feelings for you...
Destroying the heart I want to share with you...

Moving On

Is there someone out there who can read my mind?
Is there someone out there waiting to become mine?

My heart, afterall, is there for the taking,
Its constant breaking is just all my own making...

Alot of people have stolen my heart,
Yet, they always seem to drop it, smashing it apart...

They never seem to realise the bonds my heart makes,
Never seem to realise until it is too late...

Those bonds are my greatest weakness,
Becoming attached so easily lacks all sleekness...

One such bond nearly ruined a valuable friendship...
She forgave me, thankfully, but it left my heart with a massive rip...

I've never fully recovered from my foolish mistake,
Bridges needed to be repaired, now that friendship's like a beautiful lake...

However, my heart still continues to fall into traps,
Laid out so cunningly, to avoid them I'd need maps...

For the heart is like a maze, always deceiving,
It can put you in a daze, but I can't ever stop believing...

There is someone out there for me, there has to be,
And I will wait forever if I have to, just so 'I' becomes 'we'...

In one another’s arms, we will hold each other,
Our eyes will meet in a loving gaze toward one another...

This is where I begin to look forwards,
And stop all this nonsense of looking backwards...

Life is not lived in the past, that's the lesson I have learned,
Life moves too fast to dwell on opportunities long spurned...

This is where I stand up and face the earth,
With a broad smile in glorious mirth...

Let Me Be Unfair

It doesn't matter if it's unfair,
Not one bit do I care,
I just want to see you there,
So please my friend, let me be unfair...

A magical night is in store,
If only you'd let me give you more,
We'd be away beside the shore,
We'd live moments to regale forever more...

You don't want to wear that badge gleaming,
You want to wear your dress shimmering,
You don't want to see children singing,
You want to be with your friends dancing...

You will be missed if you do not come,
More by others than by some,
Please take this opportunity to come,
Thoughts of not seeing you make my mind go numb...

So I beg you, listen to my plea,
So you can finally see,
I don't care about the fee,
Once you come out and be free...

It doesn't matter if it's unfair,
Not one bit do I care,
I just want to see you there,
So please my friend, let me be unfair...

It will be worth it just to see your stare...

Troubles of Four People

Four people,
Good people,
People who wouldn’t harm another,
All face troubles,
That are all different,
Yet are all strikingly similar too,
And all with one thing in common,
Their problems were caused by the other gender...

Heartbreak,
Arguments,
A lack of trust,
And a simple lack of love,
All these of things are reasons to fret,
All these of things are what make all of you,
Unbearably upset,
Our kind is a loveless one...

All I can do is apologise,
And promise that one day will be different...

Signals

I feel your hand close around mine,
Startled, I don't know how to respond,
I close mine around yours,
But it lacked the feeling of longing it should've had,
Due to my tentativeness...

Later in the night you seem indifferent toward me,
I seem to have sent out the wrong signal,
It wasn't the one I intended to send out,
I wanted to squeeze your hand as tightly as you did mine,
I wanted to show my true feelings for you...

My signals have come out mixed up...

Same Old, Same Old

Different person,
Same story,
Once again I'm shot down,
Once again my kindness,
Has awarded me with another friend,
But with nothing more...

The question is asked,
Where were you?
You flick your hair,
Tilt your head,
Give a wry smile,
And with a knowing glance toward me,
You say,
Nowhere...
While the lad beside you grins guiltily...

Once again I find myself asking the same questions,
If I'm so nice,
Why don't people LIKE me?
Why is it when I pour my heart out,
I get nothing back?
Why do I get so attached to people?
Why is it always the arrogant, ignorant ones,
Get the girl,
While my heart continuously misleads itself?

Maybe I should become arrogant and ignorant,
In the hope that the opposite sex,
Follows the theory of the move,
And sees through it all,
Finding some wayward genius,
That she can fall in love with,
Maybe then I'll be happy...

Lament

For him, suffering is no more,
For him, pain is no more,
He left them peacefully in his sleep,
On the day of All Saints,
Leaving behind all of his terrible agony,
But transferring it to his loving family,
For them, their suffering starts now,
For them, their pain starts now...

For them, their grief starts now...
As they mourn the loss of their breadwinner...
And his beloved four iron...

My Fight

As a good friend of mine,
And a good friend of hers,
You offer to be the middleman,
To go investigate her heart,
To find out if she wants to just be friends,
Or if she wants something more,
And to find out if what they say is true,
That she does indeed like another...

However, I couldn't in good conscience let you do this,
It is not your responsibility,
It is my own,
It's similar to a boxer,
He can't just turn around and ask his coach,
To get in the ring and fight for him,
He has to get into the ring himself,
And fight his own fight...

Well, my friend...
This is my fight...
And I have to fight it alone.

The Ball

My smile turns to a grimace,
Ridiculous rules are to blame,
You have asked me to go to the ball with you,
So we can dance the night away,
I am thrilled by your invitation,
And say yes without hesitation,
Only to find that one little letter,
Prevents me from being allowed to go...

Your smile falters,
I wish it wouldn't,
It's such a wonderful sight,
You say there's always another night,
But not if what I fear comes to pass...

And you leave the ball in another man's arms...

Is it True?

Is it true?
Has your face really split in two?
Are those shining bright eyes,
Really filled with nothing but lies?
Is the heart-lifting smile I‘ve written about,
Really nothing but a deceiving pout?
Do you really treat your friends as inferiors,
Thinking you are by far superior?

Why have you changed?
Have I gone deranged?
Has my judgment let me down again?
Has it brought me nothing but more pain?
Why do you hurt your friends?
Why would you want those friendships to end?
Why have you changed from the wonderful girl I once knew,
To this stranger standing before me...

Holding my heart, hewn...

Still Haven't Learned

That look in your eye,
That bright spark,
That excited look you once gave me,
Once made me incredibly happy,
But not anymore,
As now it's reserved for another,
Someone whose name being merely spoken,
Causes your eyes to cloud over with delight,
While any mention of mine,
Barely brings a nod of recognition from you,
Showing how your feelings toward me have changed...

I don't even know why I'm hurting,
I don't even know you that long,
But once again my heart has shown its weakness,
Its tendency to get far too attached,
To people that I know I can't have,
I just wish I would learn from the past,
Learn to control my heart's cravings,
But it looks like this lesson will never be learned,
Not unless I become completely heartless,
And start to hate life and everything in it...

That doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Love

Some things are hard to believe,
Hard to understand,
A lot of the time, one such thing is love,
Unbearably heartbreaking as it can be,
Not possible to live without it either,
As there's always someone to love...

Life

Life seems really annoyed right now,
Everywhere I turn nowadays,
One of my closet friends is in moral peril,
The problems they face,
Do not reflect their own actions,
And the things that are befalling them,
Destroy the theory of the existence of Karma...

All their problems are different,
Yet they are all uniquely serious,
With the same inevitable outcome,
Whether it be boyfriend or girlfriend trouble,
Or a son's father in terrible agony,
The outcome is agonising worry,
With the potential to end in devastating heartbreak...

It's times like this I realise my good fortune,
It's also times like this I feel useless,
As the only thing I can do in this situation,
Is to try and put a comforting arm around my friends,
And insist that everything's going to be ok,
When the fact is I haven't a clue how everything will turn out,
As life is good at concealing its true intentions...

Intimidation

I spot you from a mile away,
I cannot hide the smile from myself,
The sight of yours widening it,
But you are surrounded by others,
Friends to you,
Strangers to me,
And as you get closer and closer,
I start to feel more and more uncomfortable...

I see you turn to your group,
Whispering something I strain my ears to hear,
But am too far away too decipher,
They break into a fit of laughter,
Their attention suddenly fixed on me,
Causing my face to burn,
I have gone from being slightly uncomfortable,
To being downright intimidated...

Our paths begin to cross each other,
You smile innocently and say hi,
All the while your gang focuses unwaveringly on me,
My nerves have been shot to pieces by now,
And my return hello to you,
Is extremely nervous and shaky,
Giving you all more cause for laughter,
And while you all walk away howling to your heart's content...

My face is burning like a furnace...
And my dignity and heart are in complete tatters...

Divided

My heart is divided,
Between friendship and relationship,
Between my loyalty to him,
And my feelings for her,
It's strange how the heart works,
How it suddenly reacts,
To the slightest piece of attention,
That's paid to it...

Maybe it's just mine,
Maybe I'm just thinking too far ahead,
It has happened once before,
I don't want it to happen again,
I acted the fool when it did,
There's nothing to stop the fool from returning,
Not even time,
The old cliché...

My feelings for her,
Are a stab in the back to him,
They courted each other once,
Indeed it was a little more than that,
But not anymore,
Doesn't mean it never happened though,
And even though he encourages me,
To go for her and make her mine,
I know in my heart of hearts,
That the past will always stay in my mind...

And I will always feel,
That the two of you,
Will always have feelings for each other,
Even if they're not seen on the surface,
Making my feelings obsolete,
Making the point,
Quite pointless,
Maybe I should leave you to each other,
At least that way someone's happy...

Even if it's not me...
Even if it's not me...

(this is the best of a bad bunch from my fifth Bebo page, but I have never been able to understand why I like it as much as I do - it fits perfectly to some VERY basic guitar chords, so that might have something to do with it)

Insane

You have danced me into a trance,
Your eyes have hypnotised mine,
Your smile is the prettiest in the world,
Your whole persona is just amazing...

...no wonder you're spoiled for choice...

I think I am going insane,
It is really such a shame,
I really wanted you to be my dame,
But you have gone for a guy I'd quite like to maim,
If I had a gun, I would probably take aim,
That would be wrong, I'd achieve no gain,
You'd just hate me, I'd have no claim,
Everything would just turn out the same,
How on earth can I explain?

My God, I really am going insane...
Your whole persona is to blame...