Guilt

A hollow, empty feeling washes over me,
I feel so horribly guilty,
I practically dragged you out,
I badly wished to see you,
But you had an awful time,
Out in the freezing cold,
As you were surrounded by idiots,
Ignorant to those around them,
To the feelings they possess...

I'm sorry for the horrendous weather,
I'm sorry for the stupidity of my friends,
I'm sorry for the heartlessness of men,
I'm sorry for every bad thing that's ever happened to you,
Even if I couldn't prevent it,
Or be faulted for it,
As you don't deserve to be hurt,
You deserve to have everything go right for you,
Because you are the nicest person I know...

And I just wish I had it in me,
To give you blissful eternity.

From a Glimmer to Nothing Again

The first time I laid my eyes on you,
I thought I had died and gone to heaven,
And any hope I harboured of being with you,
Were either confined to my over active imagination,
Or to my most wonderful of dreams about you.
But the years have now rolled by
Since that faithful September day,
And with them, my dreams have suddenly become a possibility,
Yet, not even a huge one,
Just a small glimmer of hope,
But that is more than I could ever have wished for
All those years ago,
As a small chance of being with you,
Is all I've ever wanted.
Yet I find this irritating for two reasons,
One being that now I have a glimmer of hope,
I now want a full on guarantee
Before taking the plunge and asking you to go out with me,
While the second is I lack the courage necessary,
To act on the glimmer of hope that has been presented to me,
And while that glimmer slowly fizzles into nothing again,
You will be happy with someone who had the courage
To take the plunge and take your hand,
A hand that I long to make my own.

Big Man's Grave

I went to see your grave today Big Man,
Noticing for the first time it's a shade of dark green,
Something that is typical of you,
You who would ooze green in abundance,
If you were to be cut open.

You left us years too early Big Man,
A light from our lives has gone,
It was extinguished far too prematurely,
And it now lives on only in our memories,
The good ones, not the bad one you left us with.

It took me a long while to find you Big Man,
Hidden amongst all the other people,
It's hard to believe that so many are dead,
It's even harder to believe that you are one of them,
It should never have been.

The time has come for me to leave you Big Man,
But I shall return again soon,
With tales of joyous victory or painstaking defeat,
For your beloved Celtic, as well as stories of my own life,
Stories that I know you play a big part in...

As I know I never walk alone,
You're spirit keeps a constant vigil by my side.

A Shield From Evil

Our friendship is stronger than ever,
We can talk to each other about almost anything,
You're one of my closest friends,
You mean so much to me.
I can't stop thinking about you,
A frown on your face,
Makes me worry constantly about you.
Any burden you carry on your tender shoulders,
I'd gladly carry for you,
Any worries I see in your shining eyes,
I want you to transfer to me,
So that you need not fear anything.
You're such a nice person,
The nicest I have ever known,
And will ever know,
You don't deserve to be treated poorly,
You should be treated like royalty.
You don't have to worry about anything,
All the bad things in the world won't harm you,
I am here to protect you from all things terrible,
I am here to shield you from all things evil.

A Call for the Old Days

I wish for a return to the old days,
The days that us three together,
Would spend under the sun's rays,
I constantly think about the past,
And shed a tear to myself,
Wondering why our friendship did not last,
I understand that people drift,
As they grow older and wiser,
But the incident that caused the rift,
Was a stupid reason for our friendship to end,
And now, the wounds are so deep,
That it is impossible for them to mend,
Meaning that our friendship,
That once seemed to be an unbreakable bond,
Has been shattered to pieces,
Because you both thought the other was in the wrong.
I know now,
That being around each other won't ever be the same,
But please find it in your hearts to somehow
Play with me, in one last game.

"When?" they ask

When?
They ask,
When will you start?
When will you join us?
Soon, I say,
Soon I will,
Or eventually,
Sometimes I say,
Eventually I shall join you.

But the truth is,
I don't ever want to,
I don't ever wish to start,
I fear what will happen,
I fear I will do something stupid,
That would cause everyone to hate me,
I fear my famous temper,
Would get the better of me too easily,
Causing someone permanent injury...

Now, you know why I don't go drinking.

The Whale

I hear an ear-piercing shriek,
I see water rise into the air,
A shadow looms large over me,
And I see a gigantic whale swim past the glass.
This whale has been imprisoned,
In a large water tank,
She's becoming restless,
And thrashes wildly against the glass,
That's preventing her from being free.
An over sized tank is no place for a whale,
She should be in her natural habitat,
The ocean,
Where she has vast space to roam in,
And other sea creatures to befriend.
I look into her eyes,
And upon seeing the loneliness in them,
I become sad at the poor beasts plight,
But as I stand on the outside of the glass,
With my head pressed against it,
I realise there's nothing I can do to help her,
To free her from this cruelty.

Blood and Deceit

They say that blood runs thicker than water,
But not when the blood has been diluted,
With lies and acts of betrayal,
Not when your own blood,
Would gladly stab you in the back,
For their own personal gain,
Not when your own blood,
Would lie to your face,
With such conviction and potency,
That you felt like you had no choice,
But to believe,
To believe and accept what they say,
I know this all too well,
So what am I supposed to think
When after all of these lies and acts,
They turn around to me,
With deceiving smiles on their faces,
And tell me
That they love me?

Death on Everest

Don't leave me!
That shrill cry pierces the icy air,
You turn, frost bitten and blue with cold,
To look back at the person who made the plea,
She is lying there, pure white,
Pale as death,
Not moving, breathing ever so slightly,
On the face of Everest.
You had tried to help her,
You did everything you could,
But her muscles have all collapsed,
She is like a rag doll, so frail, unmoveable,
Her lungs are struggling to draw breath,
Each intake is sharp, like a jagged knife in her chest.
The elements will have their way,
They are slowly drawing every inch of life,
From her once energetic body,
And you know that if you stay there,
They will do the same to you too,
Leaving you to make the heartbreaking choice,
Of should you stay or should you go?

(Death on Everest achieved for me something I never thought possible - publication in an actual book, DCU Book Soc's 2008 Creative Writing Anthology to be precise, and it is something I remain proud of to this day and for many more days to come).

The Realm of Fantasy

Once upon a time,
There was a magical land,
Where people and mystical beasts,
Dwelled side-by-side.

They were ordinary people,
Like you and me,
Who went quietly about their business,
Just trying to put food on their families' tables.

Then there were the wizards and witches,
Known as The Guardians, they were the select few,
That were blessed with magical abilities,
Who protected this fair realm.

Lastly, there were the mystical creatures,
Some good and some bad,
Each blessed with varying magical powers,
That could be both wonderful and terrible.

Sometimes the realm would come under siege,
From the evil beasts of the land,
But each time they were foiled,
As they could not match the sorcery of The Guardians.

But, on one faithful day,
A wicked warlock called Vladamir,
Came to The Realm of Fantasy,
To destroy it and make it his own.

He was severely outnumbered,
The Guardians of the Realm should have dealt with him easily,
But Vladamir was more powerful then they had reckoned,
And they were swatted aside like insects.

The land was his for the taking,
He stormed the villages and captured slaves,
He rounded up all the evil beasts of the Realm,
And made them into his army.

A small group of people tried to resist,
But they were crushed by Vladamir,
Few managed to escape,
Those who did, fled to the slums.

Vladamir never attacked the slums,
He failed to see the value of such an action,
A rabble of poor people is all they are, he remarked,
Divided and leaderless, with no magical power!

He was right in his judgment of them,
They were indeed divided and leaderless,
They often squabbled amongst themselves over nothing at all,
And they had no one to turn to, to prevent these arguments.

There were over six hundred of them,
All squashed into tiny, little huts,
They struggled at times for food,
Since the land wasn’t fertile enough to grow anything.

By now, the entire land was covered with Vladamir’s evil,
The once evergreen forests, were black to the core,
The once clear waters of the rivers, were murky and filled with mutated fish,
The creatures that were of pure heart, fled the land for pastures new.

Then, worst of all, The Guardians fled the Realm,
Believing that Vladamir could not be beaten,
That his power was too great for any man to overcome,
With that, it seemed that all hope was lost.

Vladamir wished to mark The Guardians flight,
So he decided to build an enormous black tower,
This tower would become the symbol of Vladamir’s power,
It could be seen from everywhere in the Realm.

When the Black Tower was completed,
It blocked out sunlight completely,
The Realm was shadowed in permanent darkness,
The people of the slums thought the world had ended.

On the day that the tower was completed,
A boy was born in the slums to a single mother,
His father had died in the failed rebellion,
At the hands of Vladamir himself.

His mother named him Sunrise,
The irony being that he would never see one,
Unfortunately, she passed away soon after giving birth,
Leaving Sunrise with no family in the slums.

Sunrise learned a lot from the people of the slums,
He learned about how Vladamir had taken over the Realm,
He heard tales of The Guardians and of their mystical powers,
And he learned of his fathers heroic death.

Vladamir did not bother with the slums for a long time,
But, one day, on Sunrise’ 18th birthday,
He decided to purge the slums with his army,
Just to show the people the true extent of his power.

It was on that day,
That Sunrise witnessed evil for the first time,
The blood of his comrades was shed,
And all he could do was hide and hope they wouldn’t find him.

When he decided to look to see if the onslaught was over,
He was met with a gruesome sight,
Blood was everywhere and huts were burnt down,
Only a handful of people survived.

Sunrise went to sleep angry that night,
Angry because they had been caught unawares,
If Vladamir is so powerful, he thought to himself,
Why then, does he attack defenceless people without warning?

Sunrise had a strange dream that night,
In it, he was talking to his parents,
They were telling him to round up all those of pure heart,
And start an uprising against Vladamir.

But there are only a small group of us, Sunrise said,
We are too few to defeat Vladamir and his army,
It is your destiny, they insisted,
Vladamir shall fall by your sword.

Sunrise awoke with a burning determination inside of him,
He gathered together the last surviving people of the slums,
Today, he said, we shall rebel against Vladamir!
They thought he was insane.

We cannot rebel, we are too few, one said,
It would be suicide,
We were lucky to survive the last attack,
Let us not push our luck.

Sunrise looked at him and issued a rallying call,
If we stay here and do nothing, Vladamir shall return and finish us off,
I am tired off living under the terms of a tyrant,
It is time for us to take back what is ours!

But should we fail, another man said;
Sunrise drew his fathers sword from its sheath,
Then we shall die an honourable death, he replied,
As the first Knights of the Realm!

Then they marched toward the Black Tower of Vladamir,
As the first Knights of the Realm,
Sunrise drew his sword once more,
And challenged Vladamir to a battle.

Vladamir heard the challenge from the top of his tower and was surprised,
No one had dared challenge him for over eighteen years,
Ever since he crushed that small resistance from the slums,
He looked out of his tower window to see who dared challenge him.

What he saw shocked and amazed him,
He could see what The Knights hadn’t yet seen,
Behind them were The Guardians,
And behind The Guardians were the creatures of pure heart.

They returned after hearing of the attack,
The wished to help the people of the slums recover,
But, upon seeing The Knights of the Realm gathered at the Black Tower,
They knew the time of the final battle had arrived.

Sunrise turned and was shocked to see them all gathered there,
He hadn’t noticed them arrive,
He held his sword aloft and shouted,
Today is the day we fight!

Vladamir released his army of foul beasts,
Just as the army of the Realm charged,
Blood rained down as swords met claws,
And as spells struck their targets.

As Sunrise struck down a foe,
He saw an entrance to the stairs of the tower,
He stormed the Black Tower, killing anyone who got in his way,
Before finding Vladamir at the top.

Vladamir turned as Sunrise burst through the door,
He smiled wickedly and cast a spell in his direction,
Sunrise narrowly dodged it and shouted,
Coward, you fear fighting me like a real man!

Vladamir was incensed by this taunt,
He took up a sword, but paused as he did so,
Recognising the sword in Sunrise' hand, and the expression Sunrise now wore,
And then it hit him.

I killed your father, he laughed wickedly,
Sunrise’ eyes widened with anger,
I’m sure you have heard heroic tales about him, Vladamir taunted,
But the truth is he died begging me for mercy!

Liar! Screamed Sunrise and he charged at Vladamir,
There was a clang of steel on steel,
And both men lost their footing,
Before falling through the door which led to the roof of the tower.

As they landed on the cold hard ground,
The battle below raged on,
The army of the Realm were defeating their evil counterparts,
The wicked beasts could not stand this sort of onslaught.

The battle between Vladamir and Sunrise was an even contest,
They battled for hours, matching each others strikes,
But Vladamir was tiring and made one last, desperate lunge,
Which Sunrise avoided, before chopping his head off.

As Vladamir fell, a shining light blinded Sunrise,
He turned around and, for the first time,
He saw the sun,
It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He picked up Vladamir’s head and threw it over the edge of the tower,
He heard the evil beasts wail of despair,
And the army of the Realm's yells of victory,
It was finally over.

Sunrise looked down at his comrades and held his sword high in triumph,
Suddenly, the tower began to collapse beneath him,
He thought his death was upon him,
Until one of the creatures of pure heart flew up and whisked him to the ground.

The Black Tower collapsed,
And for the first time in over eighteen years,
Sunlight spread through the Realm of Fantasy,
The reign of Vladamir the Warlock was over…

The reign of Sunrise the Knight was about to begin.

The Puppeteer

You are very clever,
You know how to manipulate those around you,
You know what buttons to push,
You know what strings to pull,
Just like a puppeteer.
You think you can intimidate those close to you,
So they will bow to your wishes,
Yet as soon as someone attempts to bully you,
You back down,
Like a coward,
Unlike a puppeteer,
Who's always in control.
Perfectly good people,
Have been turned into complete tools,
By your manipulative abilities,
You're arrogance is unbelievable,
But once someone stands up to you,
You crumble,
Like a wet sand castle.
There is only one thing,
That could possibly put you in your place,
But I hope it doesn't happen,
As, it could break your heart,
And make you do something stupid...
It could make you kill yourself.
I wouldn't wish that on anyone,
Let alone you,
As, despite your puppeteer-like traits,
I actually like you.

The Heart

You have stolen my heart,
And I want you to give it back,
But I also want you to keep it,
Once you intend to use it,
Then, I would gladly love you in return,
But, if you don't intend on using it,
Please give it back to me,
So I can give my love to another.

As long as you have it in your possession,
I become emotionally bound to you,
But if you would return it to me,
I could leave you be,
You would put up with me no more.
There is only one problem now,
You do not know that you have my heart,
You do not hold it above me while shouting

Keep away!
It is in your back pocket,
Where you can't see it,
You can't give something back,
If you don't know that you have it in the first place,
This means that I'm destined to love you forever,
Without ever receiving that love in return,
It's ok, I can manage it by now.

I've lived in this world of blackness long enough,
To know how to live life without love.

Thanks

The day is cold and the wind is bitter,
The ship is moored in the harbour,
And I wait to board it with a group of people.
I am depressed looking at the huge group around me,
As I have realised something horrible about this situation,
I don't know them well at all,
I would have the odd chat with some,
While I have never even spoken to others before.
My own friends all pulled out of this trip,
Because of one single day in the year,
Leaving me on my own to contend with strangers.
I'm expecting to receive the cold shoulder,
To be treated as an outsider,
After all, they don't know who I am,
While, I could hardly claim to know them at all.
In the beginning I was isolated,
But only because I was too shy to approach them,
I thought they would just ignore me,
So I sit on my own at a table,
And start to feel a little sea sick,
( I am notorious for being a poor traveller ).
I sit alone and close my eyes,
Hoping, without any real conviction,
That someone will come to my aid.
Suddenly, I hear someone call my name,
To my surprise,
I see the very group of people that I expected to shun me,
Standing in front of me trying to ease my pain.
In the end, my fears were in my mind,
They welcomed me with open arms,
Into their almost family-like group of friends.
That feeling of acceptance will stay with me for as long as I live,
Because, while it seems like a small thing to do for them,
To me, it meant I had companionship for the duration of the trip,
Something I didn't think I would have before I boarded the ship.
The trip was memorable,
As it feels like I have made a group of new friends,
I will never forget their treatment of me,
I was treated like one of them,
Like a good friend,
A gesture that will stay with me forever.
The trip is now over,
My heart lies heavy in my chest,
As I know that things will go back to normal,
With just the odd hello and idle piece of chit-chat in the corridors,
Being our only sign of recognising each other,
Yet, despite this,
I just want to thank them,
Thank them for treating me as a friend,
And for all the magical memories they have given me,
I will treasure those until the day I die.
So, thank you for everything,
You're a wonderful group of people,
Hopefully, we'll end up going on an another trip together again,
As I would then have an excuse to talk to you all,
And to get that feeling of acceptance once more.

Sweet River

So young,
So innocent,
You came into the world of fame,
At a tender age,
You had to support your entire family,
As well as various-hangers on,
You couldn't cope with the pressure,
So you turned to drugs,
To lift you above it all,
But you began to change,
You became a shadow of your former self,
In others eyes anyway.

Then one day,
You took something,
That could make you fly like a phoenix,
When it works right,
But when it doesn't,
You fall, fall, fall,
To your death.
You fell sweet River,
You fell,
But your mystical qualities remain,
In the works of art that you have left behind.