Inspiration

It is amazing how inspiration works,
Events of enormous magnitude can inspire,
But so can things that seem trivial,
Things considered unimportant by most,
But are important to the one that matters,
The one holding the pen!
Today, I read the poetry of a fellow writer,
No combination of words are fit to describe it,
It is the best I have ever read,
And I include all the big name poets in saying that,
Plath, Yeats, Bishop,
In my eyes,
This persons work is better than them all!
His work inspired me to write this,
To try and compare myself to him,
Even though I already know,
In my heart of hearts,
That there is no comparison to be made.
I am overjoyed to have seen his work,
But I am sad to have seen it too,
As I don't think I can ever match it,
But that doesn't mean I won't try,
I shall continue writing,
And so shall he,
And we shall take inspiration from the biggest of events,
As well as the smallest,
As inspiration can be found in all corners of the globe,
Even in another poet’s writing.

...

We hear you fall and run upstairs,
You’re lying on the ground,
A knife in your hand,
And covered in crimson red.
You’re eyes are half open,
And you struggle to draw breath,
While coughing up blood,
We have to ring an ambulance.

As the sirens wail in the distance,
I notice a strange look in your eyes,
A look that worries me deeply,
You look oddly content,
You wear a look of happiness,
On your blood stained face,
Something that I haven’t seen,
In a long time.

Then, all the different questions race through my mind,
Yet they carry the same meaning,
And they are all unanswerable.
Why would you do this to your family and friends?
Why would you give temporary problems a permanent solution?
I want to ask why you did this,
But you look so peaceful on the ground,
So I don’t.

You’re put into the ambulance,
And the flat line signals your death,
The family all start crying,
But my grief was beyond tears,
As I now know,
That my questions will never answered,
And I’ll never know what it is I could’ve done,
To have made your life a little more bearable.

Hidden Behind Better People

I stand practically invisible,
Behind two of my friends,
While the pair of them,
Get all of the attention,
As per usual.
Visibly more attractive than me,
It comes as no surprise,
That the girls fawn over them,
After all, no one thinks of me that way,
Since I'm looked on as responsible,
As innocent,
As the one people turn to,
When in need of help or advice.
This wouldn't bother me,
If I could fulfill the duties expected of me,
But I can't,
Because I'm not as mature or responsible,
As my age suggests I should be,
And I can't help my friends when they need it,
These things tear me up inside.
But they,
They are better people,
Than I could ever wish to be,
Which is why I stay hidden,
As they deserve all of the attention they get,
While I hide in a corner,
Where I belong.

Happiness

Happiness is a truly wonderful thing,
It can be found in almost any place,
From the richest of estates,
To the poorest slums,
It is always just around the corner.

The rich man says he is happy,
But sometimes so do the poor,
As they are happy for what they have,
Their family and friends,
Money doesn't always make you happy,
But some people still think money guarantees happiness.

Anything can make you happy,
Whether it be winning the lottery,
Or helping others,
Going on a family holiday,
Or being with your friends,
Happiness is always only a small step away.

Some people find happiness in solitude,
But, more often then not, it's found in another person,
In the one you love,
As nothing can make you more happy,
Then finding the one you wish to spend your life with,
Even if you know you can't have them.

Personally, I find happiness in writing,
Since, through this, I can express my emotions to others,
Whether I am angry and sad,
Or lonely and regretful,
My pen can release these emotions onto a page,
And keep me from bottling them up inside of me.

This particular poem is about happiness,
Possibly the strongest of all human emotions,
As anger and sadness will pass with time,
While happiness will always remain,
Just as the sun will always see the day
And just like the way she will always be in my heart.

So come my friends and follow me around the corner,
Let us away and take the one step to happiness, like the rest of them have,
Like all those who have already filled their hearts with joy.

Everything Vanishes

I see you running down the road,
Shouting at me with joy,
With your arms outstretched,
I'm happy to see you too,
So I open my arms in welcome,
Hoping to feel your warm embrace,
Wishing to smell your sun-kissed hair,
And desiring greatly to kiss those fair lips,
But before we reach each other,
You disappear before my very eyes,
And everything around me vanishes,
Replaced by vast and endless darkness.

I look around in panic,
Just wanting to wake up in my own bed,
I hear shouting behind me,
I turn and see all my friends,
Calling me to them,
I run toward them,
Feeling relieved that I am not alone,
In this forsaken patch of blackness,
But before I can get to them,
They too disappear before my very eyes,
Leaving me on my own again,
To contend with permanent darkness.

Then I see my family,
They too call me toward them,
Everyone is there, even the big man,
Even though he has been dead five years,
But I don't question why he is there,
I just run as fast as I can to them,
Hoping beyond hope,
That they wouldn't vanish too,
But then they did, and I start to cry,
Wondering why I have been brought to this cruel place,
Trying to think of someone I know who would play such evil tricks,
And hoping that I am just having a horrible nightmare.

But then the truth is revealed,
The darkness disappears,
And suddenly I find myself looking down,
At where I was standing,
When I saw you running to me,
But I am not standing anymore,
I am lying, spread-eagled, on the ground,
Everyone I just saw vanish before my eyes,
Are crowded around me crying,
The ambulance men put me in a body-bag,
I am, quite clearly, dead,
And I never got to feel your loving embrace...

To me, that's the saddest thing of all.

Time

Tick-tock, tick-tock,
Goes my silver Celtic watch,
Time is running out fast
On all the important things in my life,
On my youthful freedom
To do as I please,
On my time to prepare for the big test,
On my chance to make her realise that I am the one for her,
On the time I get to spend with my friends.
It doesn't seem too long ago,
That I was only entering my teens,
Now, all of a sudden,
I am eighteen and am expected to be mature,
To be responsible and sensible,
Despite the fact that I have never really grown up,
Even though I should have.

Tick-tock, tick-tock,
Goes my silver Celtic watch...

I look around at my friends,
Marvelling at how mature they are compared to me,
I see old friends from years ago,
And wonder at how much they have changed since then.
I am still the same,
Time hasn't changed me at all,
I am still childish, without any common sense,
But realising all of these things,
While knowing that time is running out,
Has given me a new resolve,
To grow up and take on the responsibility,
That I should have taken on years ago,
When the Big Man left,
I think that time is on my side,
After all, I'm only young, it's not my time yet...
Is it?

Tick-tock, tick-tock,
Goes my silver Celtic watch,
Tick-tock, tick --
The watch stops...
Has time run out?

(I like this one because of the image of the Celtic watch, a 16th birthday present from my beloved grandmother; unfortunately I have since lost the watch).

Back Off

You should lay off your son,
You punish him far too harshly,
He does not deliberately attempt to break your rules,
Unforeseen and unavoidable circumstances are the reason for that,
But by breaking rules,
He is helping out his friends,
Surely this is something to be proud of?
By breaking your rules,
He is helping out his girlfriend,
Surely that is something to be proud of?
You have a son who is a brilliant boyfriend,
Much better than a son who is an awful one,
Are you not proud of this?
Are you proud of him at all?
Or is your quickness to punish him,
Blinding you from his achievements?
Your swiftness in punishing him in the past,
Means he can't even enjoy himself on his night out,
So you should back off him,
Cut him some slack,
And, most importantly of all,
Be proud of him,
After all, he has earned it by now,
Don't you think?

Why?

Why did you leave us so many years prematurely?
It was not your time,
What were you thinking?
What have you achieved by departing so soon?
Silence.
The question falls on deaf ears.

How could you come to such a conclusion?
A temporary problem you gave a permanent solution,
Can you see what you are missing?
The children growing up,
Through the awkward teenage years,
You won't be there to guide them through.

Do you remember our trip to paradise?
How could you forget?
It was the best time of our lives!
But there should have been more,
Many more.

Can you see what you have left behind?
A loving family,
One that would have supported you,
Had you let them.

Have you seen the hurt you have caused?
No parents should bury their child,
But you have changed fate,
And they are here still, while you are gone.

You have left behind so many questions,
Questions that need answering,
But never will be until we join you,
Yet that won't stop asking the one that needs answering the most...

Why?

A Night Out

I play football in the car park,
Even though the sky is dark,
I play in the dead of night,
Under the glare of the streetlights,
I play on my own,
As I prefer to be alone,
Since my idiot of a friend,
Made a mistake he cannot mend,
But that doesn't matter,
As I still get great laughter,
From playing the beautiful game,
While he's off with his dame.
I head home by myself,
I bump into him, he's not himself,
The fool's had too much to drink,
He has never known when to stop and think,
I go home with a smile on my face,
While he vomits all over the place.

A Nice Distraction

I should be studying,
Yet I find myself writing,
Not school work,
But about you,
Your beauty is distracting me,
Stopping me from studying,
It wouldn't be the first time,
And it won't be the last.

I have said everything about you,
I have tried to convey your beauty in words,
But I have now come to realise,
That there is no combination of words,
Fit to describe the aura that you give,
The beauty that you ooze,
And the unbreakable hold that you have over me,
One that shall remain intact for all eternity.

A Delusional Martyr

Tears and frustrations,
Which led to your actions,
Once again appear,
On the faces of your victims distraught families.
You were so quiet in the beginning,
But that was because,
Of the abuse you took,
From your fellow classmates.
Day-after-day you took it,
Rage building up inside of you,
When, finally,
In the dark confides of your mind,
You conceived a horrible plan,
That was so evil and cunning,
It would ensure that your legacy,
Would never be forgotten.
You get two pistols,
And copy poses from blood filled horror movies,
Before going out your dorm room door,
All the time,
Ranting and raving,
While your guns start blazing.
Innocent blood was shed that day,
Dreams died, as well as people,
Friends were separated forever,
While futures were utterly destroyed.
By the end of your blood rush,
Thirty-two innocent lives had been lost,
You hear the police closing in around you,
So you turn the gun upon yourself,
Just like Roman heroes of the past,
Except nowhere near as gallant,
Your cowardice appals me to have made such a comparison.
From beyond the grave,
You maintain that you were the victim,
You say that this tragic incident could have been avoided,
You claim to be a martyr,
Saying that you have died for the weak and defenceless,
You even have the audacity to claim,
That you are like Jesus Christ himself!
A bold claim that is,
As well as an inaccurate one,
You are not a martyr,
More like a delusional lunatic,
It seems that the world is better off without you,
But not at the price of human life,
As that is far too valuable,
For it to be taken out of one's own hands,
By a mentally troubled man,
Who, quite simply, didn't know where to turn to.

We're Having a Great Time!

A very odd night indeed,
It begins in familiar surroundings,
On the setting of the beach,
I greet people I haven't seen in many a moon,
We're having a great time!

I promised one lad I would be there,
He hails me when I see him,
He reckons he's had too much to drink,
He sings funny songs and does funny dances,
Clearly, he's having a great time!

Unfortunately, we are forced to move,
When the guards rear their ugly heads,
They pour my friend's drink out,
So he gives them a fake name...
Jim's having a great time!

So we head to the hills,
Located beyond a fence,
I feel quite content there,
But we move again for another adventure,
We're having a great time!

We then end up in the Woodlands,
To wind down our night of madness,
One lad slips and falls in the mud,
But he gets up and laughs it off,
Because he's having a great time!

Then comes the end of our great night,
It fills me with much sadness and despair
Since we have to leave our friends behind;
The tale of this night may seem insignificant to others,
But it will always have a special place in my heart...

Because I had a great time!

Where Am I Gone?

I am not who I used to be,
I used to relish a challenge,
Perhaps I have become too comfortable,
Possibly I have become afraid,
Afraid if being tarnished with the brush of failure,
Or maybe I am just plain lazy,
It seems to be a combination of the three,
But why?

Yes, you are right,
It is a combination of the three,
Too comfortable you have become,
Everything was too easy for you,
Which also explains your fear of failure,
You now expect everything to come together instantly,
Which explains your laziness,
Does that answer your question?

It does indeed,
I know now what I must do,
It is time for me to get up,
To stop stuffing myself with food,
It is time for me to find where I have gone,
To pull myself back from the brink,
I am quite lucky, which is why I should be happy,
Which is why I should come back from wherever I am gone.

Two in the Morning

At two in the morning,
I come in the front door,
I stagger into the bathroom,
To look at myself in the mirror,
My face is pure white,
Pale as death,
My brow is covered in sweat,
You would think that it had been raining,
My eyes are black,
Dark alleyways leading to nothing.
I fall into bed,
My head spinning,
I begin to hear laughter,
Out of fear,
I pull the bed sheets over me,
But I can still hear it,
Loud and shrill,
Mocking me,
Laughing at my stupidity,
I drift into an uneasy sleep,
My dreams are filled with people laughing,
People I consider friends,
I awake every now and then,
The laughter still ringing in my ears,
The next morning I look at myself in the mirror,
Never again, I say.