Loveable Rogue

He spends his nights marauding and masquerading,
Absolute ossification allows an escape into a world where he cannot be hurt,
In the process, an image of himself as a joker is projected,
His drunken alter ego dives into oblivion and creates a persona of arrogance,
Leading many to believe he is heartless;
Years are spent living this life, drunken blur after drunken blur,
Deceiving himself into thinking it was all he wanted,
While inside, a battle between what is and what he wants to be
Rages and destroys the notions he once lived so comfortably and happily by;
A craving for a past framed only in memory
Devours his mind night and day,
A desire for things out of reach at present but possible in the future
Consumes his thoughts morning and evening,
And a wish to be something more than he is in the eyes of those nearest to him
Burns inside every second of every minute of every lonesome hour,
Accompanied by reminders of events gone by that have shaped the person he is now;
All he wants is a change, a chance to start anew,
To lose the persona he hides behind and to lose those he no longer holds so dear,
And to regain former glories that now gather dust
In the dark recesses of a mind drowning in a lack of comprehension…

(this is one of two poems published in DCU Book Society's 2009 anthology - to be published two years running is something I'm proud of, though if a person called Anto Gallagher ever claims to be the loveable rogue and, by association, my muse just ignore him).